Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
