The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
