The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
