I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
