Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
