How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
