He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
