gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
literally had 100 drinks last night.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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