I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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