Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
