I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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