You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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