you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
