And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
