If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
