is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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