i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You're a waste of cheezeits
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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