I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
