he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I love having hate sex.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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