Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
