We won't sleep together?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
