so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
