If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
