u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
