you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
