i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
