none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He kissed a someone with a penis
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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