Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
