walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
