Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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