I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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