Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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