Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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