This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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