Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
