her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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