A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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