Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
