you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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