You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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