Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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