More tranny stories later!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize