i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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