Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
