Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
