The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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