Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
