So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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