Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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