Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
